the "article"

-- deadly distraction or useful utensil?

In the past I have been on both sides of this heated debate. Say you're in the dining hall, or the bar, or anyplace else where the focus is predominantly on the conversation. Then someone, seemingly out of complete boredom, whips out the newspaper or his laptop, or a porno magazine (in will's case) and starts to give most of their attention to that instead of the person or people they are talking to. A knee jerk reaction from the other conversationalists could be anywhere from confusion to anger, to physical violence, and all would seem justified; The listener thought them so boring as to tune them out in favor of an inanimate object. This is the kind of thing that conversation geometry preaches as a cardinal sin; something that disrupts the natural flow of a pure conversation between people, and it is the kind of touchy signal that can turn a casual friend into an acquainted, and an acquaintance into an enemy.

I would like to take this opportunity to make an argument in favor of the "article," or as I will from here on call it, the conversation stimulus package. First, it is important to consider the situation. If there is a conversation ephemeral enough that a mid-convo read-session is an option, it is probably not that important/meaningful of a discussion to begin with, and one that will surely not be remembered. In addition, if the person or people you are talking with are so easily bruised emotionally by you pulling out a periodical and reading it in front of them that they don't want to be friends with you anymore, then maybe you should get some friends who aren't huge pussies. And if someone is getting really annoyed by you reading, then their anger should not be directed at you as much as at themselves or the situation for providing such infertile soil for a good conversation to grow. Once the initial anger or annoyance is over, however, the real growth can begin. As always, the first step to solving something is admitting you have a problem to begin with., and your problem is lack of stimulating conversation.

This is how the conversation stimulus package can be a boon, not a boor, to any conversation: Substance. So many conversations with friends and others are limited by the asinine bullshit that is small talk.

"how are you?"

"good how about you?"

"good as well... how was your summer (Jared)"

"Good, how about your classes?"

"good, blah, blah, blah.."

Mindless and futile. The only thing that matches the boredom of such a conversation is it's futility in uncovering any useful or interesting information about the other person. Yeah they went to France for break and they saw the Eiffel tower, I want to know if they Eiffel towered any chicks while they were there, and that is not going to be uncovered in that boring "standard" conversation model.

The point of the stimulus is to shape the conversation and get behind the facade that we all put up because we assume (most of the time rightly) that no one cares what we are actually thinking about.

The key to properly applying the article is getting everyone engaged. If you are reading today's paper, ask them about what they feel about current events, and not just the normal dumbass questions, really get them engaged, share your thoughts, dig deeper than the cover story, present them with unexpected facts to get them to start thinking, maybe they have something interesting to say about that, if not, then move on until you find a topic everyone can resonate with. The same premise applies with whatever you're reading, from the wall street journal to juggs, from american science to a vagina care handout from the health center. Any article can be the catalyst of a hilarious and thought provoking conversation in the hands of a skilled reader.

So the next time you sit at a table and someone is reading a book or looking at a magazine, don't shy away from them and assume they want to be left alone. Engage them. Ask them "what are you reading?" See if you can start up a conversation. it might be more fun then you think, and hey, you never know, you just might learn something...

BERD